Thursday, November 11, 2010

Is Qantas built on Controversum Antasi? There's Kangaroo Blood in the water...

I would never implicate Qantas Airlines in the incident that occurred on the 4th of November 2010. Nope. And they themselves have made it very clear, as have Airbus: the engines are from Rolls-Royce, Rolls-Royce is responsible... I will remind myself of this should I cut my chin with a Gillette razor the next time! Hardly comparable, but if my girlfriend* cuts her smooth sexy skin with my razor, who do I blame? Upon making the buying decision, I chose the razor [I've shaved with a pink razor in the past - the disparities in function and performance are negligible]. 

I'm going to dichotomize the Real World (sun->plant->bunny-->popo->lion->popo->smelly popo->plant) from the Business World. In the Real World, we are all actors -we interact, there are results, and according to diversification in nature, some benefit and others do not. In the Business World, we have defined consumers, we have hopefully non-perfect providers/suppliers who bargain less effectively than we/I, and we have our body corporate. The we, I and Body Corporate want to make sure that we can feed the pig consumers without having to actually "put our arms down" the hog's "treacherous" throat.

No matter what you think you are, if you define reality as a struggle for profits instead of a reality without efficiency, then you are the I. You are with me or against me, and if you really wish be on top, some good advice would be to join or form a Body Corporate.

I know little about the flight industry (actually I know plenty, but I want to assert my journalistic ability to be objectionable here), but I think that Qantas is pursuing invisible profits out there in the cosmos...

One issue occurred in 2005 regarding Qantas Airlines where they were found guilty of fixing cargo prices in Canada. How does one distort cargo surcharges? Who cares. They took the pig for a walk.

A Qantas A380's engine experiences a 'hiccup': it bursts into flames mid-flight, raining debris somewhere over a country with a population density more than twice as high as the global average (Indonesia has a pd of 122 per sqrkm, where the Global average is 51). Cue the Industry Congo Line of Denial!

First up: Qantas!
The engine blew up, not the cabin crew - blame Rolls-Royce! (and throw another shrimp on the bar-bee)

Second: Airbus
We have deployed crews around the world to deal with the data we have from Rolls-Royce, the real culprits. The crews will perform an 8 point additional pre-flight check: the 8 points being the suspected 8 different failures that could have lead to the IN-FLIGHT CRITICAL FAILURE of the Rolls-Royce Engine. But let's face it, if these things want to fall out of the sky, then the exhaustive and redundant 211-step pre-flight engine checks are not going to stop that. Yet we remain committed to the pig... eh... Industry, and dominating people's perception of a "value added service"-tag by producing these barely financially viable things of engineering beauty!

Bonus! Singapore Airlines
Qantas, you beat us to the first A380, and since you didn't give us the 优惠 we believe we deserve from pro-industry growth packages - we're parking our A380s and stopping some orders. You have assets we will buy. When the price is right.

END-GAME! Rolls-Royce
Our customers are both Boeing and Airbus (we make two engines for them on the same production line... it's not like they're going to stop building the planes). We are working on the issue, but are completely confident in out Trent product line (we just signed a billion dollar deal with China for services and to exchange technologies and personnel. And we don't care about you).

So, everyone wins except for Qantas... coupled with their cargo price-fixing fines, they've taken heavy losses. Good thing the Australian public is so forgiving.

China is a building a huge Airline Construction Industry. Want to know what their superjumbo will look like? Click here 
* In the Real World, Girlfriend doesn't need to shave because she is perfect and devoid of any anarchistic  follicles.

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